Eminem said it so eloquently:

More lyrics gone wrong - Eurythmics

Posted on my FB wall
by a friend.

NEW SONG LYRICS_Dedicated to bit actors

I'm writing a song dedicated to bit actors who get killed in the first act... I'm calling it
"Bronson Webb, You're Gonna Die!"

SNIPPETS

The Real Slim Shady/Slim Shady (The Musical):
"All you other Slim Shadys are dust in my tateys."
Which I interpret as:
"All you other Slim Shadys are dust in my taters."
Alternatively:
"All you other Slim Shadys adjusting my tee-tees."
Take your pick.
The real lyrics:
"I'm Slim Shady, the real Slim Shady, all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating*, so won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up..." 
*or imitators... I've heard it both ways in different versions of the song. 
For a great rendition of the song, check out Project RnL's version:
Slim Shady (The Musical)

The ULTIMATE guilt song!!!

I was working on a Ben Harper song, and I heard a lick that sounded familiar. I realized it was similar to a lick in Cat Stevens’ Wild World.
Then the song started going through my head, and like most song lyrics, taken in a different context, they were totally different.
When I was younger and heard this song, I (naively) interpreted it as someone genuinely wishing another person well on their journey, not hanging on but letting others come into and out of their life like the tides.
Oh the naiveté of youth.
Now, in this new, slightly skewed context, I saw the lyrics as if they were sung, not by a free-spirited peace/love hippie, but by your stereotypical master of guilt, the Jewish mother.
(And it's not just Jewish mothers. All mothers are masters of the art of guilt. It's just the stereotype that comes to mind.)
Suddenly, the lyrics were hilarious.
The bottom line of this song? It's a good old passive-aggressive:
"Fine. It's a bad idea. If that's what you want, then go right ahead. What do I know, I'm just your mother."

I’ll do a little interpretation for you:

But if you wanna leave, take good care; I hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
“You’re going out in THAT dress?”
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there
“You’re going to ruin your outfit.”

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world; I'll always remember you like a child, girl
“You’ll never make it out there. You’ll never grow up.”

But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware
"It's not like it used to be when I was your age."
"...And you probably can't handle it anyway."
"You'd be better off staying at home where it's safe. But go ahead, you know it all..."

And of course, the big whopper of motherdom:
But if you wanna leave, take good care; I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
“Go ahead. Have a nice time. Forget about me, I know your friends are more important. ”
Which reminds me of the old joke:
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: “None. You just go ahead with your friends. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.
Alone.
In the dark.
Have a nice time.”

Now that you have the context in mind, take a look at the lyrics and imagine them being sung by a master of passive/aggressive guilt:

Wild World by Cat Stevens:
Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
Baby, I'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

[Chorus:]
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
I'll always remember you like a child, girl

You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do
And it's breakin' my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you a sad girl
Don't be a bad girl
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

[Chorus]

Baby, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

[Chorus]

The Night Before Xmas

Twas the night before Xmas and all through the house,
there were empties and butts left around by some louse.
And the best quart I'd hid by the chimney with care,
had been swiped by some bum who'd discovered it there.

(My guests all long since had been poured in their beds)
My mouth full of cotton hung down to my lap,
because I was dying for one more nightcap.
When from the North window there came such a smell,
I sprang to my feet to see what the hell!
And what to my wondering eyes would show up,
but eight bloated reindeer hitched to a beer truck.
With a little old driver who looked like a hick,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.

Staggering outward those reindeer came,
and he hiccuped and belched as he called them by name-
"On Schenley! On Seagram! We ain't got all night!
You too Haig & Haig, and you too, Black & White -
Get up on the roof, get the hell off this wall!
Get going you dummies, we've got a long haul."

So up on the roof went the reindeer and truck,
but a tree branch hit Santa before he could duck.
And then in a twinkling I heard from above-
A hell of a noise that was no cooing dove.
So I pulled in my head and I cocked a sharp ear-
Down the chimney he plunged, landing smack on his rear.

He was dressed all in furs, no cuffs on his pants,
and the way the guy squirmed - well, I guess he had ants.
He said not a word, but went straight to his work;
and missed half the stockings, the plastered old jerk.
Then putting a finger to the end of his nose,
he gave me the bird; up the chimney he rose.

He sprang for the truck at so hasty a pace,
that he tripped on a gable and slid on his face.
But I heard him exclaim as he passed out of sight:
"Merry Christmas you rum-dums! Now really get tight!"

Marching Inland

Try singing this Chorus from Tom Lewis' classic sailor song in your best Scooby/Astro voice:
Original:
I'm marching inland from the shore, over m' shoulder I'm carrying an oar,
When someone asks me: "What - is that funny thing you've got?"
Then I know I'll never go to sea no more, no more,
Then I know I'll never go to sea no more!

Rikey's Rooby/Rastro Rendition:
Rhyme Rarching Rin-Rand Rum Ra Roar,
Rover me Rolder I'm Rarryin' a Roar,
Ren Rum-run Rasks me Rut, Ris dat runny ring you rot -
Ren I Row I'll Rever Row to Reeno roar Roar ROAR!
Ren I Row I'll Rever Row to Reeno ROOOARRR!


(reeeeer!)